On Special Education

First of all, this topic is way more than I can cover in one short post.  For one thing, it's my job. For another thing, it's my life with a special needs kid at home.

I am at a training today given by my school district in regards to new laws about seclusion and restraint of students, including those with special needs.  I have to say it is very comforting to be surrounded by people who have felt the same things and dealt with the same things as I and have survived with a sense of humor and faith in humanity.  Working with kids can be a huge challenge, and as special educators we often get the kids that other people have given up on (often with reason). It is also the most rewarding thing I can imagine doing short of 1) being a parent or 2) being an obstetric nurse.

I get to build close relationships with kids who have immense amounts to give to the world but who haven't figured out how to appropriately access their abilities.  As a new teacher last year, I would be high one minute on having a student succeed and crying in the bathroom the next minute because of a sudden escalation.  My goal this year is to regulate myself a bit better and insulate my life separate from my work. Part of the reason for starting this blog is to remind myself to move on at the end of the day and pay attention to the family time I have in the evening.  I have to learn to not take my student's struggles so personally and be able to congratulate myself on my minor accomplishments.  I hope that being part time this year will give me the room for reflection that I need to keep gong without getting burnt out.

On Pain and Getting Older

This was not going to be my topic for today.  I had plans to blog about travelling and geekery over the last several days, but my body has decided otherwise.

On Saturday, I twisted my ankle a bit and this resulted in a bout of sciatica.  For those who don't know, the sciatic nerve runs from the spine through the butock and down the leg.  In my case, my ankle twist caused some muscle swelling which is pinching on the nerve. It was irritating for a day, then I moved a bunch of furniture in my classroom and it really flaired up. So I spent all of yesterday passed out with painkillers and muscle relaxants. Yay. Puts a dent in plans.

Here's the thing- this is not the first time this has happened. I struggle with ongoing aches and pains that I think are excessive, considering my age. I'm only 42, for crying out loud!  Is there a particular reason I have headaches all the time (4-5 times a week)? I also have a lot of back pain and my knee joints creak and ache every time I go upstairs.

Yeah, I'm a little overweight and stress out too much, but my body seems to think that I'm 70. Most of these aches and pains don't keep me from doing anything- I still get everything done that I need to. What worries me is thinking about what my body will be like when I turn 60 or 70.  Will I be able to travel and be active with my husband? We have all of these plans for retirement! What if my body won't hold out that long?

That is one of the reasons I wanted to start this blog- to help me eat better and exercise more and take better care of my body.  It's tough to do any of those things when you are passed out on the couch with painkillers.

On Writing

I'm not a writer.

That's what all of my students say, and I tend to feel the same way about myself.  What we really mean, of course, is that we are not good writers, not professional writers or that we don't want to take the time and energy to write.

What most of my students think is that for a "writer" writing comes easily.  The ideas, words, forms come spilling out with grace and ease.  This, of course, is totally untrue.  Any writer will tell you that the craft of writing requires a lot of study, thought, reflection and sometimes frustration.

Here's the thing - I am not really interested in putting all that much thought, study and reflection into my writing.  I accept that this means I will never be very good at it.  I can express my thoughts generally, but without really crafting my words.

My students also don't think carefully about the purpose of writing and the perspective of the reader. They just want to complete the assignment and get it over with. We don't focus enough in school on writing for different audiences.

In my case, I have thought about my purpose and my audience with this blog.  I assume there won't be one (an audience, that is). My purpose is not to inform, instruct or entertain anyone else. If someone happens along, well... great!  I would not do very well if I tried to create something for a specific audience, so I am doing this just for me, as a kind of challenge.

Hmm.. How (and Why) to start

I suppose I should start this blog the same way we start a new school year - with some "getting to know you" games.  However, since there is nobody here but me, it shall be a very boring game.

Here's me:
I'm a special education teacher living in Madison, Wisconsin.  I am starting my first full year of teaching while trying to maintain my home, family and sanity.  I have one son, a 12 year old, who provides daily joy and aggravation.  I also have a husband who, fortunately, provides just joy (and stability and love and all things good).

Here's the plan:
During this school year, I want to cook at least four good meals a week for my family and blog about my journey.

So...why?  Hmm...  When my thoughts are all jumbled and scrambling to the top of my head I find it best to make lists.  I am a fan of lists.

List #1:  Why am I, a busy teacher with a family, bothering to blog about anything at all?

• Something new to do.  I always need to have something to do, to look forward to.  When I don't have enough to do I get lethargic and lay around watching too many episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress" or "House Hunters International" and then I feel guilty and dissatisfied about being unproductive. I seem to have two speeds: frantic and off (I am sesrching for a middle speed of 5, but that's another story).
• It's fair.  I make my students write every day, so it's only fair that I do it too.  
• To be a better cook. I hope that providing a healthy cooked meal for my family will make me a better cook by the end of the process.  I'm not a terrible cook right now - I don't think my cooking has made anyone sick yet. I do tend to rely on cooking the same things frequently and I hope to break out of that rut.
• To help me get off my butt (and reduce the size of my butt).  I don't really like taking the time to cook at the end of the day when I'd rather collapse with some cheese, crackers and a pint of Ben and Jerry's.  I'm about 50 lbs overweight, mostly because I rely on convenience and my cravings for sweet-fatty food. I am trying to get more exercise this year, too, but going to work out and then picking up half a dozen cupcakes is a bit silly (for which, read "stupid").

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So that's it.  I will try to blog at least daily for at least 10 minutes. I'm hoping to use these last two weeks before school as a clearinghouse of my thoughts and plans before I get down to the nitty-gritty of actually performing. Here we go!